Admitting you’re in a postpartum depression is one thing, healing the depression is the next but what follows after that? For me a long road of deep transformation and shifts. There are still days – 2,5 years after my son was born – where I get propelled back into the feelings of unworthiness, loneliness and guilt. There are many way to heal postpartum depression. My biggest shift happened when I raised my consciousness and stopped numbing out.
It’s been 1,5 year since I dared to admit to myself I was in the middle of a postpartum depression. My son had just turned 1 and I was at my lowest point. I was exhausted, super emotional and super closed off at the same time. I had drifted so far from myself and my own awareness that I didn’t believe the place I was in. I’ve come a long way since that defining conversation with my mom. Finally realizing the situation I was in.
The reason why I’m writing this blog now is because to heal postpartum depression it needs constant work and I was reminded of that. I almost wrote I had a ‘relapse’ but it wasn’t. It was a moment that reminded me that motherhood is rewarding and hard at the same time, that healing is needed and challenging at the same time. I don’t consider having a postpartum depression anymore, but feelings of self doubt and insecurities still creep in. It’s not like you can ever check the box, okay I’m done healing, I’ve put it behind me.
I started to doubt my skills as a mother, as a wife, as an entrepreneur and as an individual. The thoughts were hard to stop and I found myself in a downward spiral of self doubt again. This time was different, I started noticing the pattern and I was able to stop myself from falling deeper and deeper. There was a shift in consciousness, not in emotions or thoughts because they’re exactly where they’re supposed to be. I was able to pull myself out and look at the situation with a birds eye view.
Consciousness to heal Postpartum Depression
We need to start at the beginning and it all starts with awareness. There’s a place and time for transforming your thoughts and emotions, but we can’t do that before we’ve become conscious of what is going on.
If you haven’t already, please pick up a copy of Gabby Bernstein’s book Judgment Detox. She created 6 steps to detox from your judgment. The first step is about a shift in consciousness; to observe your judgment without judgment. That is such a powerful tool to start understanding yourself better. This isn’t just about judgment towards others but mostly the judgment towards yourself. We judge all day long, won’t it be nice to get a break from all the judging?
What I learned from this roller coaster ride of emotions to I’ve been on is that there’s no one size fits all. Even methods that have worked in the past aren’t working in each situation. What I did learn is that there is an underlying
The way I go through my thoughts and emotions is like this;
Become aware of what you are feeling without feeling the need to label it as bad or good. It just is. Allow the feelings to be there because they’re here to tell you something, to remind you or to teach you something.
Once you’ve become conscious of the feelings, you move into acceptance. The difference with consciousness is that you let it become part of you instead of trying to distance yourself from the feelings. You accept that these feelings simply are. You acknowledge them, honor them and let them be.
This is not about how you can transform the other person or transform the outcome. This about transforming the energy. Every energy can be transformed, as long as you’ve become conscious of it and have accepted it. If you jump to this step it’s like a spiritual bypass, ignoring the potential lessons and understanding that is present within these feelings. When you transform the energy upwards you lift yourself up. This is not wishful thinking but actively moving away from fear and into love. Listen more about the alchemical process of transforming fear into love in THIS podcast episode.
- Release & Surrender
When you’ve done the work of transformation it’s time to let go of your attachment to the feeling. This is the hardest part because you’ve been let to believe you are your feelings. You HAVE feelings, you are not your feelings. You can feel sad or angry. This realization of that is fundamental! You can release the attachment you have around feeling guilty, otherwise you’ll be in a loop of feeling guilty about feeling guilty. When you let go and surrender your feelings to the universe, you trust!
We can all use a little bit more self-love and acceptance. We can be so hard on ourselves as mothers, new moms even more. Everything needs to go a certain way. The more you release your attachment to a certain outcome and the more you trust in the universe, the more your life will flow. Does this mean you need to sit back and let the universe do the work? Absolutely not!!! You still need to do the work, but when you know the universe has your back, you’ll be able to live more freely, filled with trust and love. There’s always a way to heal postpartum depression, open up, share and support one another. You don’t have to do this alone!
* This post is for educational purposes only. It does not provide medical advice. It is meant to motivate you to make your own health care and dietary decisions based upon your own research and in partnership with your healthcare provider.